chapter 11; part 1 The Medical Profession

continued from chapter 10: part 7

And now a word or two about the medical profession. Face it people, they need us as much as we need them, so we have to co-exist. Without us they have no work and without them, we're up the proverbial creek.

I had lots of time to study the people who were a large part of my life for a year and a half. Between trips to the emergency department and five hospital admissions, studying the medical profession became my vocation.

Let’s begin with doctors and now that I'm smarter, I suggest it’s best that we think of them as mechanics or plumbers. You place the malfunctioning equipment in their hands and trust they'll get it running again. How they get the machinery going is something you're never completely clear about but who cares as long as they get the job done.

Just don't ask for a warranty.

The first lesson I learned is that doctors will patiently answer your questions but that’s not the point; the trick is to know what to ask. We branch off into two camps here—the ones who want to know everything versus the ones wanting selective information. If you want total upfront reporting, say so clearly. Consider the doctor’s dilemma- you can find yourself playing an adult version of Go fish if you don’t specify where you stand.

My friend Rachael slowly learned that of the three doctors who cared for Evan, the urologist was the one who had the least problem communicating the truth to her. In the beginning the surgeons believed Evan had diverticulitis and were shocked during surgery to discover three tumors. She learned later that one doctor assisting at his surgery didn't think it was worthwhile to even try to remove any of it. Later, when they picked up his most recent X- rays to take to another doctor, Rachael peeked inside the envelope and that’s how they learned his cancer had metastasised to his liver. The doctors simply couldn't either bring themselves to tell her or they played that game, "But I thought you told her."

Despite the fact that I asked for the facts and believed I was absorbing them, near the end I wasn't comprehending that soon I'd wake up and Hal would be gone from my life. I hadn’t had any experience with the dying process and it wasn’t getting through to me. That explains why, when the Emergency room doctor told me that Hal's cancer had seeded itself to the abdominal wall causing Hal’s severe pain, it sounded perfectly rational; but if he had said, "your husbands body is riddled with cancer", I might have faced it more quickly, but I learned.

continued in chapter 11: part 2