continued from Chapter 8: part 8
It was always clear in our minds that Hal would combine his medical treatment with self-help but first we had to find out what that meant. A positive attitude? More than that? We didn’t know.
We thought a lot about the doctors’ view of when to begin treatment. The doctor's credo seemed to be, "If it ain’t broke don't fix it." Well, it wasn't showing signs at the time, but it was broke. Now I realize they were leaving Hal alone while he felt well to enjoy his life.
We left our casual drop-in group to join a more active group run by a psychologist in the cancer hospital. Originally it was set up for the patients only but the facilitators claim the caregivers showed up the first night and refused to be left out. Through the new group we discovered various self-help techniques such as positive imagery where you imagine yourself into getting well.
We were always openly curious about the way things work and it was natural for us to ask questions and search out other people who were learning to deal with their cancer.
Not everyone is able to publicly bare their private selves; they are anxious to maintain control and help themselves, but they want their privacy. If you’re one of these people, you’ll find ideas in this chapter about what you can do to help yourself while maintaining your privacy.
Privacy wasn’t a big issue with us but we were clear that we had to make some changes while Hal felt well.
A lot of personal house cleaning happens when you connect with cancer. You may have already begun by discarding outmoded habits that are no longer useful, replacing them with new habits that will benefit your health and your feeling of self-esteem. You’ve placed yourself in the hands of a medical team, you may have a partner in place and you may have told some or all of your friends about your cancer. You may also have begun attending cancer group meetings or informal drop-ins. You’re taking a closer look at relationships that give you pleasure and also pain.
A few of our new friends in the group were avid about following macrobiotic diets and the two I knew personally were walking promotionals for it. They shuddered at the taste and blandness but believed it was aiding them. Hal chose not to attempt that because he liked his evening rum and roast beef didn't make the diet list. You have to be totally committed to anything to make it work, and no matter how much you want to succeed, you have to know yourself and your limitations.
Faith healers were not a serious consideration for Hal. He never claimed a spiritual life.
You can make further advances by concentrating on the foods you eat, ensuring they provide you with the best possible nutrition, by doing daily exercises that suit you, taking proper medication, getting enough rest and relaxing your body and mind through whatever is your relaxing agent. Learn to “listen” to your body. Follow the basic nutrition guides and if the combination of two foods causes an upset, make a note to eat them separately, or eliminate one as long as you balance the nutrients some other way. If you go through loss of appetite and feel a slight urge for food at three in the morning, ask your partner for a small milkshake or whatever you can handle and that can be produced quickly.
continued in chapter 9: part 2
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