continued from chapter 6: part 4
Now we come to doctor number four. Between doctors two and four we are talking a matter of a few weeks from the time I drove Hal that first time to the Emergency Department until he was discharged from the hospital after his surgery.
I’m still fuzzy on this but I think this is what happened: the surgeon, Doctor Beam was about to go on vacation and the oncologist he was planning to refer Hal to was on vacation so in the interim Hal was to be monitored by Doctor Roberts, another surgeon. This turned out to be the darkest part of those first weeks.
On the day we met Doctor Roberts, we were ushered into the inevitably chilly, tiny examining room. Hal sat on the table and I perched on one chair, clutching our coats and other paraphernalia.
Enter the doctor, a medium size guy with trim body and a springy walk.
His first words were, “So, Mister Tennant, what can I do for you?”
Shucks, doctor, we had hoped you’d studied the report in your hand and would give us a little guidance.
Hal politely went through what had happened and that he was ready now for whatever sort of treatment he should be having. I made some comment about the cancer mestasisizing into the liver and worried about Hal’s chances, and this man, now sitting in the chair with his feet up on the equipment table between us, put his hands behind his head and said flatly, “Well, chances are he’ll be dead of cancer of the liver within two years.”
Of all the things that had happened in the past months, this was the lowest point. Neither one of us behaved badly; we heard the doctor out, he said he would continue monitoring and his nurse set another appointment for three week’s time. We left the hospital and got into the car. We just sat there looking at one another. We took a collective deep breath.
“Hey,” I said, “The hell with this barbarian. Let’s go have a super lunch.”
One thing you can count on is that I will think of food in a crisis.
We drove to our favorite Italian restaurant and were seated in a fairly secluded spot. We shared a bottle of wine and drank a toast to our future. We both cried a bit, then the wine did its job and we laughed and actually had a good time in that warm spot surrounded by lively, anonymous people. Afterward, we sensibly went home and made love.
continued in chapter 6: part 6
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
chapter 6:part 4 Study Your Doctor
Continued from Chapter 6: part 3
We were shuffled around a lot before we actually met the Oncologist at Princess Margaret hospital.
First was Heather, our family doctor who struggled to find the cause of the pain. Was Hal behaving too stoically during his visits to her office? I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but from doctor number two and on, I was like his Siamese twin.
Doctor number two, Dr. Kroll the Gastroenterologist who admitted Hal from Emergency, was a pleasant, formal man who, like every doctor I met, worked long hours, but the person we saw most at this stage was the resident, Dana, and she was forthright. She drew a diagram of the intestines and showed where they thought the problem was. If we had asked her then what they might find during exploratory surgery, I believe she would have told us. We figured then that we had enough problems on our plate and settled for the diagram and the vague notion that this might be Crohn’s disease.
We got used to a certain ritual: when the chain of command altered and Hal was turned over to the next specialist, the previous doctor disappeared. We saw Dana at an elevator shortly after the surgeon took over and she looked blankly through us. We no longer were a part of her work schedule.
Then came number three, Doctor Beam, the surgeon who performed the operation and he was the most positive person we encountered; a person with that attitude is worth his weight in rubies. Because of his positive strength we raised our expectations about our needs and Hal’s rights. Because he was a surgeon, though, he wasn’t considered to be the person to take Hal further. He was the exception to the out-of-sight-out-of-mind rule; he never spoke in terms of writing us off and he maintained contact through Hal’s illness, having him come in every three months for a chat and a check-up. We appreciated those chats more than I can express.
Although the Oncologist took time to explain things to us, we sometimes left the clinic feeling upset and Doctor Beam, one step removed from our battle, had a way of soothing us and making everything seem clear, hopeful and reasonable.
continued in chapter 6: part 5
We were shuffled around a lot before we actually met the Oncologist at Princess Margaret hospital.
First was Heather, our family doctor who struggled to find the cause of the pain. Was Hal behaving too stoically during his visits to her office? I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but from doctor number two and on, I was like his Siamese twin.
Doctor number two, Dr. Kroll the Gastroenterologist who admitted Hal from Emergency, was a pleasant, formal man who, like every doctor I met, worked long hours, but the person we saw most at this stage was the resident, Dana, and she was forthright. She drew a diagram of the intestines and showed where they thought the problem was. If we had asked her then what they might find during exploratory surgery, I believe she would have told us. We figured then that we had enough problems on our plate and settled for the diagram and the vague notion that this might be Crohn’s disease.
We got used to a certain ritual: when the chain of command altered and Hal was turned over to the next specialist, the previous doctor disappeared. We saw Dana at an elevator shortly after the surgeon took over and she looked blankly through us. We no longer were a part of her work schedule.
Then came number three, Doctor Beam, the surgeon who performed the operation and he was the most positive person we encountered; a person with that attitude is worth his weight in rubies. Because of his positive strength we raised our expectations about our needs and Hal’s rights. Because he was a surgeon, though, he wasn’t considered to be the person to take Hal further. He was the exception to the out-of-sight-out-of-mind rule; he never spoke in terms of writing us off and he maintained contact through Hal’s illness, having him come in every three months for a chat and a check-up. We appreciated those chats more than I can express.
Although the Oncologist took time to explain things to us, we sometimes left the clinic feeling upset and Doctor Beam, one step removed from our battle, had a way of soothing us and making everything seem clear, hopeful and reasonable.
continued in chapter 6: part 5
Friday, July 27, 2007
chapter 6: part 3 Study your Doctor
continued from Chapter 6: part 2
Let’s take the worst- case doctor/patient scenario and say that the two of you can’t make a compatible fit, either in personality or confidence and you still want a referral. You have been doing all that research in chapter five and this is just a minor setback.
If you are sure in your mind that this doctor is one you simply cannot relate to or trust completely then take immediate steps to make a change.
You don’t have to change your name, leave town and start again.
Ask for a second opinion, and then call the family doctor or a medical friend if you have one. Do some auditioning. This takes considerable tact. It takes some time, but if you are making your selection from say, the same clinic, your file goes from doctor to doctor so you’re not starting from scratch.
Fiona told me of her experience on Sean’s behalf when they first began seeing his specialist at a cancer clinic in a general hospital. It was a shabby, drafty place and most patients were vocal, wailing and breast beating. Sean was an uptight, private person and this display of overt emotion upset him as did the dingy setting. Fiona knew this wasn’t going to work well for him. She got on the phone and called everyone who might know of a specialist who might be right for her Sean. She kept hearing the same name and believed this might be the right one. He worked from a hospital she was familiar with.
They arranged their appointment and when the doctor asked why they had come, Sean told him bluntly and honestly that he didn’t have confidence in either his present doctor or that clinic. Fiona sensed that the specialist was pigeonholing Sean as a difficult patient and he casually asked them to wait while he went away to review Sean’s files. She knew he was going to turn them down. She turned to Sean and said, “Look, he isn’t going to take your case; he believes you might be a trouble maker and he doesn’t need the aggravation. It’s your job to convince him that you’re a good guy. You may have to beg, but do what you have to do to change his mind.”
And he did.
Continued in chapter 6: part 4
Let’s take the worst- case doctor/patient scenario and say that the two of you can’t make a compatible fit, either in personality or confidence and you still want a referral. You have been doing all that research in chapter five and this is just a minor setback.
If you are sure in your mind that this doctor is one you simply cannot relate to or trust completely then take immediate steps to make a change.
You don’t have to change your name, leave town and start again.
Ask for a second opinion, and then call the family doctor or a medical friend if you have one. Do some auditioning. This takes considerable tact. It takes some time, but if you are making your selection from say, the same clinic, your file goes from doctor to doctor so you’re not starting from scratch.
Fiona told me of her experience on Sean’s behalf when they first began seeing his specialist at a cancer clinic in a general hospital. It was a shabby, drafty place and most patients were vocal, wailing and breast beating. Sean was an uptight, private person and this display of overt emotion upset him as did the dingy setting. Fiona knew this wasn’t going to work well for him. She got on the phone and called everyone who might know of a specialist who might be right for her Sean. She kept hearing the same name and believed this might be the right one. He worked from a hospital she was familiar with.
They arranged their appointment and when the doctor asked why they had come, Sean told him bluntly and honestly that he didn’t have confidence in either his present doctor or that clinic. Fiona sensed that the specialist was pigeonholing Sean as a difficult patient and he casually asked them to wait while he went away to review Sean’s files. She knew he was going to turn them down. She turned to Sean and said, “Look, he isn’t going to take your case; he believes you might be a trouble maker and he doesn’t need the aggravation. It’s your job to convince him that you’re a good guy. You may have to beg, but do what you have to do to change his mind.”
And he did.
Continued in chapter 6: part 4
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