chapter 6: part 2 Study Your doctor

continued from chapter 6: part 1

You know the kinds of people you’re most comfortable with. Does it matter if your doctor is an autocrat and you are much more laid back? Not especially, as long as you feel the fundamental needs are being met. What do you care about? Do you want to know every change in your condition or would you prefer to leave the worrying to the doctor? We’ll take it as a given that you want to know you are in the hands of a total pro who will give you the best. Can you handle a starchy manner? If you are a formal personality, can you manage if the doctor establishes a first-name relationship?

Test your doctor as you go along; what makes him laugh? Is he controlling or does he keep you abreast of your treatment? If he walks into the room looking grim, do you infer that he is bringing you bad news about your condition? If this crosses, you mind, ask him.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that the specialist assigned to you has, in your opinion, the personality of a horses’ ass. You will never like him but you will probably respect him and you’re convinced he will give you the best care.
Figure out how you’ll handle your feelings; social skills don’t appear to be a prerequisite at medical school and generally you get lucky, but if your doctor’s attitude falls between the cracks, give a little there because this person is your best shot at recovery.

It will be up to you to adapt to his personality.

What might you do to establish a better footing? Well, the truth is a good idea but be gentle. You might say, “Doctor, I have a casual personality and you are formal. I want to work with you because I am convinced that you are the one who will give me the best chance. I am an up-front person, I expect the whole truth and good information about every step of my treatment but leave me a window of hope.”

Conversely, if you don’t want a blow-by-blow account, be clear that you are leaving the treatment to him, that you will ask when you want an update, and please don’t volunteer information unless you ask.

It is important to know that these doctors probably would never be able to pick you out of a line -up, so find your middle ground.

continued in chapter 6: part 3