chapter 8: part 2

continued from chapter 8: part 1

Hal made his living as a writer by expressing himself in clear terms. He expected that these skills would be an advantage to establish rapport with the doctor but he hadn't counted on the Catch 22 of clinics; you won't see "your" doctor each visit.

The Oncologist has a back-up team of qualified residents who share the assignments, so you never know until clinic day which one you will be seeing. This can be a big obstacle, doubly so if you're not prepared for a substitute and you'll want to think carefully about what you want to accomplish with the doctor of-the-day. This system calls for more flexibility on your part and you may have to adapt your personality to fit theirs to get the best out of the visit and to ensure that you understand one another. Too manipulative you think? You're shedding the no-longer-useful parts of your personality in order to gain this doctor's concentration on you and on your health and welfare. You're not going to change their system, but you have total control over the person they are treating

The all-time champion of the getting-to-know-you assignment was our friend Michael, a tall temporarily bald man exuding the joy of living. He knew his cancer was the ultimate challenge of his life and he made himself recognized by sheer force of personality; I doubt that anyone in the clinic failed to recognize this man and he had the ability to make everyone smile. He sometimes covered his head with a large red felt hat with sweeping feather and he had an ability to remember names. His enthusiasm even carried over to the treatment he had chosen and the way he planned to tackle it. He didn't mind asking questions that might be construed as naive; he wanted to overcome his cancer and he wanted the best help he could get. He asked questions of every technician, and when he came in for his prescribed treatments he managed through skillful means to surround himself with the people he considered the best in their field, and if he felt that way, his chances of succeeding were going to be improved.

Then there's Claude; a witty, intelligent man. He'd come in for his chemotherapy reeking of marijuana, considered by many to be a helpful relaxant before treatment. He insisted on checking everything that was going to be injected into him, was knowledgeable about the entire process and wasn't shy about saying so. He also used various non- traditional methods to control his cancer and he talked about it to anyone who would listen. He was charming and earnest, opinionated and sometimes abrasive, but oddly likable. His way was slightly bad-boy off- the- wall and it worked for him.

Sarah was a favorite of mine, and there were many women like her. She didn't enter a room, she swept in and took it over. She wasn't particularly pretty, but she was striking. She wore a vivid, shoulder length red wig, with a scarf knotted through as an accent but certainly not to hide it. She favored well tailored suits topped by dramatic capes, and she was unfailingly charming while claiming as much of the spotlight as she could get. No one resented her behavior. She passionately wanted to live and to be noticed and she was succeeding.

Some people achieved recognition by sheer anger;loud, demanding, raising their voices at the slightest provocation. They too are remembered and get attention, if only to get them through the system and out the door. They were using up their precious energy in a negative fashion, and while staff members understand that rage is often a mask for fear, you'll benefit by trying a more positive approach.

Some fellow travellers send letters of appreciation to the doctor and technicians, as well as Christmas cards and gifts. I don't recall anyone getting better marks from the teacher this way, but if you're shy, try it and chances are your name and face will be remembered. Also, it’s nice to be thanked.

continued in chapter 8: part 3