Chapter 8: part 8

continued from chapter 8: part 7

Volunteers are easily identified by their stand-out uniforms and you'll often find them pushing carts with tea, coffee and biscuits. They'll stop to help you find your way through the corridors and clue you in on any short cuts around the place. They also seem to have an unwritten law that no matter how edgy patients may get waiting bone-weary times to see the doctor, volunteers will treat them with unfailing tact and kindness.

About parking. It costs you to leave the car in the vicinity of the clinic, right? Well, usually, but not always. It's worth your while to scout the area by car a day or two in advance (Sundays are best) to see where the meter-free places are. I found a street nearby that had two-hour meters, and I never got a ticket, and frankly I didn't feel I deserved one. Consider the extra walk a good form of exercise.

And there's attitude. Yes, you do need to develop a positive approach to this new experience. The first time we came to the clinic I was worried about what I might see. I think my mind had regressed to those childhood films about leper colonies and civil war horror hospitals.

Would I see masses of bald, ghastly pale, quivering people who might collapse on the floor in front of me? I knew there would a pervasive feeling of sorrow.

Wrong. In reality it's more like the average crowd in a hotel lobby. There are skinny people around if you take the time to search them out, but the normalcy of the place is what strikes you first. The worst thing I ever saw was a big clump of human hair on the floor by my feet. Big deal; so think of the times you saw the same thing in the barber shop when your kid was overdue for a haircut. And it does grow back.

A good sense of humor can get you through anything. If you haven't got one, skip this part; I'm not sure you can fake it. We polished up our Gothic humor, which does seem to come with the territory. We used to play a game to see which person in the waiting area had the cancer. We guessed wrong countless times because the caregiver partner was often the one looking pinched and worried and neglecting his or her health. We also tried our hand at diagnosis as we got more sophisticated; what kind of cancer does the man in the brown suit have? If you practice your friendly approach you'll find out; we never met a patient who was shy about discussing the matter. Look, what else is there to do? This isn't the time to concentrate on anything more intellectual; you want to keep your main focus on your coming meeting with the doctor.

One of the "best" clinic visits we had was when I made a discovery out of necessity. Hal's legs developed blood clots and this coincided with his regular clinic visit. He couldn't walk without help and I was trying to figure out how to manage when I got to the clinic.

I pulled the car up to the driveway entrance and an attendant hurried forward with a smile. "Hello their little lady, need a wheelchair?" he asked as he opened the door. Now in normal times a person addressing me as little lady would receive an unladylike reply but I was so grateful for the help he could have got away with practically anything. He produced a chair and had Hal tucked in and wheeled inside the lobby while I parked the car in a lot across the street. And yes, this time I paid.

Instead of the usual way of slowly working our way through, we had a great time zipping through the corridors and people even held elevators for us. We got a good-sized examining room with extra chairs so that we could spread out while we waited for the doctor. Oh joy. On a day that your partner is particularly weary, try to round up a wheelchair at the clinic, to travel with more comfort.

Plan your clinic visit carefully, consider what you'll take, what you'll wear, food and medication to bring, your diary of symptoms and questions and most important, bring your peace of mind.

CHECK LIST FOR CLINIC OR DOCTOR VISIT


DOCTOR notebook with questions of the day written out and space left for answers.

DIARY to record in chronological detail every step of your diagnosis and treatment. This is your own personal medical chart.

DRESS for comfort and easy clothing removal and bring an extra sweater for warmth during wait in examining room.

MEDICATION. Be sure to bring some extra in case of delays.

READING MATERIALS. Bring games, cards, anything to pass the time.

SANDWICHES, a thermos of coffee or juice, just in case.

EMERGENCY KIT. Be sure the emergency barf kit is in place in the car.

MONEY. Have change on hand for parking, vending machines and phone calls.

CARRYALL. To hold most of the above.

continued in chapter 9: part 1