chapter 11; part 4

continued from chapter 11: part 3

I can see why the god complex overcomes some doctors. A hospital is like no other place on earth; it has the hushed, though busy atmosphere of a temple. Doctors spend so much time there that they don't have a healthy dose of reality outside. It must take a special kind of spouse who can handle some of those egos and value the real person inside.

Some doctors have a special agenda like collecting statistics about the various patients, or performing various surgical techniques and so on, but what they don't really want to do is cross over that impersonal line and relate to the patients. Bless the ones who have learned to enjoy balancing that line.

I used to wonder what was going on in their heads when they clustered around Hal's bed, asking him questions about his condition when Hal was flying on morphine. Did they think they were getting the facts or didn't it matter anymore? Are they aware that a heavily doped patient is rambling and often hallucinating? I tried to remain quiet and give Hal his dignity but sometimes I would take his hand and say, "I think the morphine is speaking for you honey." And I’d quickly respond for him.

Emergency departments are generally staffed with people who have had critical care training and they make swift but expert opinions. Our whole experience began in emergency departments and I always felt a sense of relief when Hal was in their care. Someone would know what to do.

The best diagnostician of the bunch was one doctor we encountered a couple of times in our hurried visits; he turned out to be completely accurate about what was happening although his opinions were discounted at first when I took Hal to his regular clinic a day or so later.

The last time we went to Emergency, Hal's favorite resident, Dr. Walker, came to check him. Dr. Walker greeted him and said to the nurse, "Mr. Tennant and I are pals." Now, that isn't an earth-shaking statement but that made Hal's visit almost a pleasure and he felt this man cared about him and what was happening to him. It's damned important when you are getting a glimmer that things are beginning to wind down and there isn't much you or anyone else can do about it.

Hal's illness coincided with that seven-year syndrome, a shortage of nursing staff. I was aware of this because of the hospital work I used to do, and I took their short-handedness into consideration.

The nurses in emergency were generally breezy and informative and thrived on the fact that they wouldn't be stuck with any one patient for any length of time. There aren't that many nurses who endure in a setting of long term care patients but the ones who do deserve a special medal.

continued in chapter 11; part 5