chapter 15: part 2

continued from Chapter 15: part 1

The day after Hal's death, my brother Doug called me to say that Dad had died that morning.
The kids made macabre jokes about their mom, “Typhoid Patsy.” First I have the cat put down. Then Hal dies. Now my dad.

Scott and Peter flew in two days later. They had been out of the loop all these months and they struggled to handle their feelings and cope with our need to talk incessantly about the past months. Melissa had picked up the baby and camped in with me as well as Mike and Lorrie. Mark slept at home but ran back and forth.

We were holding Hal's party on Labor Day weekend and I tried to find a caterer but no one was available on such short notice. I planned the food, shopped for it and prepared most of it. The kids did everything I asked them to do, getting the liquor, renting extra china, and working out the logistics of parking.

The day of the party, we all put on our festive things and so many people came. It was mostly writers’ shop- talk, which is the way I wanted it to be. I remember the men wore suits, and I wasn't used to them dressing so formally.
I had to force back the anger when someone asked to smoke in the house but eventually resigned myself to the fact that they would. They won’t understand. The girls did the hostess duties and I remained quietly in the living room.

I did what had to be done and kept feeling stabbing pains of grief but the tears never came for long. The boys played continuous tapes of Hal's favorite jazz and some of those tunes tore at my heart.

I was near the kitchen window when one friend said, "Hal would have loved this party," and I replied, "Perhaps he is, he's out there in the driveway in Mike's car." She handled that nicely.

That night, when only family remained I pulled out all of Hal's clothes and distributed them to the boys. No one would take his beloved corduroy pants, which he had specially made. I kept his wallet and the leather change pouch we bought in Florence.

This is when death becomes reality--when the possessions are given away and there is vacant closet space, drawers are empty and soon even scraps of his handwriting disappear.

to be concluded in chapter 15: part 3