chapter 3: part 4

continued from Chapter 3: part 3

When the time came, the closing of Hal’s estate would be pretty straightforward, but there are prescribed steps to follow. The lawyer and I were Hal’s executors. During my first visit with Alan after Hal’s death, I carefully rounded up any documents I thought he might need and a second visit wasn’t needed.

In retrospect, I can say unequivocally that a woman is doing herself a disservice is she turns all the estate matters over to others. This is the time to muster all the self confidence you can.

Do you have a safety deposit box? What’s in it? Our box contained our wedding certificate, some insurance papers, old coins and pictures and some furniture and jewelry appraisals, in case of theft. When a partner dies, the box contents must be formally listed in the presence of a bank representative and then the box would be sealed until probate was completed. We closed out the box and put our far from valuable items in a fireproof box, at home.

We analyzed our life style and looked at ways to pare down for financial and physical reasons. I had quit my job a couple of years back to remain at home and consciously made the decision not to return to work but to look after Hal and worry about the consequences later. A lot of people don’t have the choice and I am grateful that I did. We were content to stay put most of the time, we didn’t own a cottage and we drove a cheap, serviceable car. We loved restaurant dining and switched from dinners to lunches, to pare down costs. We loved going to a few auction sales and switched to tendering reserve bids for items at a price we could afford instead of getting caught up in the heat of the bidding.

A major expense was the upkeep of our beloved home, a century house in regular need of repairs and we hadn’t even reached the stage where we could decorate instead of general maintenance.

On the physical side, our cleaning lady had moved on and I was trying to keep up with the cleaning of ten plus rooms and knew I would need a lot of stamina to care for Hal if his illness progressed.

I knew with a sick certainty that aside from a small life insurance policy, we had few assets except that we owned the house outright and the market was appreciating.

I broached the idea of moving to smaller (and cheaper) quarters and Hal was uncomfortable with the idea, so we left it for a while.

We had that awful investment loan that weighed heavily on me. Before his illness Hal was concerned that we hadn't saved more for retirement and he looked for ways to shore up our assets. We were so gullible that, taking the advice of the accountant soon-to-be-realtor, We took out a one hundred thousand dollar loan against our house and began investing through a hedge trader, exactly two days before Black Monday when the country sank into recession. It seemed wrong to me to get into this but I didn't have the confidence to fight it.

Hal could never bring himself to give up completely on these stocks that were failing and we were paying a thousand dollars a month in interest payments. This was the first item of business I handled after Hal died; the hedge trader was sent packing and I liquidated, with a huge sigh of relief.

Since we were both out of our league when dealing with financial matters, Hal wanted professional advice about ways to stay afloat if he was unable to work and find out just what his net worth was.

First, we visited the accountant, the one who soon after gave up his profession to take on real estate and continued visiting the racetrack. We had known him for a few years but he was never able to get it out of his head that I was formerly a schoolteacher and he thought I should return to my old teaching job. I had been a commercial artist and a Human Resources specialist. He also suggested that, if I were on my own, I could rent out the house. “And then what?” I asked. He had no idea.

We hired a professional adviser and spent time with her setting out our entire financial picture. She solemnly absorbed this and went away to write out a financial plan. I came across this much later and was amazed at how much information she lacked about her own profession.

The good part of this expensive exercise was that we finally clarified our thoughts about our possessions, assets and options.
to be continued in Chapter 3: part 5