chapter 7: part 2

Continued from Chapter 7: part 1

We kept silent about Hal's cancer until one of his first mornings home from the hospital when he went out on the porch to meet the mailman and he said, I swear,
"Good morning, I'm just out of the hospital and I have cancer." He continued on cheerfully about what type of cancer and how he felt good and planned to continue to feel that way. The mailman, to his credit, responded well.

I sank onto the hall stairs, opening and closing my mouth like a beached fish, silently working on what I'd just heard while he sorted through the mail.

Before I could even question him about being so public, the phone rang and he rushed past me and up the stairs to take a business call and I heard him tell his client exactly what had happened and that he was mending very well indeed.

I remained on the stairs and thought about this for a moment. Okay Hal, it's your life and your career and if you want to be the totally up front person you've always been, then that's the way it will be. You may lose some clients but we'll take this a step at a time. Now I'd better tidy up the subterfuge.

I called the children to say the vow of secrecy was over and then called our friends to say that I'd been less than honest with them up to this point. That was tough. Some of them didn't know what to say and just spluttered, and others cried. Cancer certainly does not have a good reputation.

I felt a burden lifted from me and because so many of our friends are writers, and writers are naturally open and curious, they asked all sorts of questions and I felt even better speaking about the disease and the surgery as though it was just another occurrence in our lives. Life was still going on.

Hal's truthful attitude lost him the two new clients left stranded when he was in hospital but the remainder stayed with him. Even during the months ahead when he was in and out of hospital, some of them called regularly to say that when he was ready there would be work for him. This did wonders for his morale and I'll never forget their kindness in taking the time to make him feel a part of the living. Their attitudes set the tone and despite the problems that cropped up later, he never missed a deadline.

He continued to discuss his illness in a matter-of-fact way, never dwelling on it, just enough to say this is what has happened and I'm dealing with it very well, thank you.

My friend Berry had the experience I expected to have. Ronald imposed complete silence about his cancer, claiming people would feel sorry for him and the people at the office would never understand. Berry found it extremely difficult having to be cautious about what she said and she wasn't used to lying to friends, or anyone else. Eventually, as Ronald got more used to the fact that he did have cancer and he was dealing with it, he casually lifted the ban in an offhand way. He said to Berry, "Well, I guess it's okay if you tell the family, but that's all." Berry took a deep breath, stiffened all five foot one of her and said to her over six-feet spouse, "Ronald, this is a warning and an ultimatum. I will never, never lie for you again." And she never did.

continued in chapter 7: part 3