chapter 14: part 3

continued from chapter 14: part 2

Each day I felt more helpless and confused and finally I arranged a meeting with the oncologist at the hospital and the doctor managed to work me in on what should have been his lunch break. I described what was happening and the man was wonderful.
He winced when I told him that a resident had casually mentioned that the cancer had metastasised further into one lung, that Hal was wearing a binder for the surgically caused hernia and it was uncomfortable and he was exhausted about 80% of the day. There was a burning sensation in his lower abdomen and he felt a constant bloating, "As if something is expanding with no place to go." He was afraid to eat because pain might result.

The doctor heard me out, taking notes as I spoke and then gave me suggestions about making him more comfortable and urged me not to allow him to spend the day in bed because moving around was beneficial.

I took a deep breath and said, "Hal has never wanted to discuss the possibility that he might die of this. But I want to know-how much time has he got?"

"No more than a year."

In my heart I knew his estimate was optimistic because, after the recent by-pass surgery, that little inner voice had clicked on with the message, "Six months." That little voice was right.

I returned home feeling so much better. It may sound peculiar to return from hearing continuing bad news. Instead, I concentrated on the positive things we'd discussed. Hal said I looked much younger when I got home and I immediately set about to get him up on his feet.

A couple of days later I received an extraordinary phone call. A woman asked for Hal and I said he couldn't come to the phone. She explained she was hoping to become a writer and had the material for a book and heard that Hal might be the person to ghost writes it for her. I explained then that Hal was ill with cancer and rather busy dealing with his illness.

"Well, this is such a coincidence, because my book is an expose of the medical profession and my doctor's bungling may have just ensured that I will get cancer some day."

I murmured something non-committal.

Her mind was really clicking by this time and she continued, "Tell me, do you think Hal will die soon?"

Yes, that is what she asked. Could he possibly live long enough to write her terribly important book? I hung up the phone as he walked into the room. I broke into sobs as I repeated the call to him and he held me in his arms and comforted me.

Later Steven told me that when they were speaking on the phone shortly after, Hal told him about the call and cried out of sorrow that I should have to go through that. Imagine, he was crying for me.

continued in chapter 14: part 4