chapter 14; part 4

continued from chapter 13: part 3

Hal began his third series of chemo early in June and the morphine he was now taking sometimes left him with double vision. I took him to the hospital emergency a week later when his foot swelled and he had trouble walking. The emergency room doctor said nodes were pressing on the pelvic wall and he found signs of lumps in Hal's neck. He sent Hal home but urged me to take him to the adjacent cancer hospital as soon as possible so his doctor could see him. I did and the doctor-of-the-day at the clinic discounted the findings of the emergency doctor and declared the foot problem not serious and sent him home.

Two weeks later he was admitted to the cancer hospital diagnosed with deep vein thrombosis and both legs were now grossly swollen. He was treated with blood thinners and discharged a week later.

Two weeks after that, in mid July, he was admitted to the general hospital through emergency, suffering vomiting and severe pain. There were signs of a partial blockage and doctors felt another operation would be too dangerous and they tried other methods. He was taken off food for a few days and then he slowly started back, on fluids and then solids. He was discharged after four days.

At home, almost immediately we both knew he wasn't progressing and that he was in big trouble. He was weak and vomiting and his poor legs were swollen and uncomfortable.

One morning I dashed downstairs to tidy up the family room and he called to me from the top of the stairs.

"Patsy, can you be with me?"

I ran upstairs and helped him back into bed and cradled him in my arms for hours. While I lay there holding him I remember thinking, this is what a broken heart feels like.

He was readmitted to hospital four days later, on July 25, and he never left after that.

continued in chapter 14: part 5