chapter 5: part 6

continued from chapter 5: part 5

Once you commit to your treatment, you should be prepared to go the distance without worrying about what you might have done. You have agreed to this course of treatment based on your research, and now you can get to work on keeping your mind and attitude in top working order.

You have studied and questioned your doctor carefully and you believe through your research that this person is professional and knowledgeable and the choice of treatment for you is the best course to take.

We had a pretty clear understanding of the way the Oncologist wanted to manage Hal's cancer. Still, we had to be a part of that decision making process and so should you. We accepted the doctor's views immediately, but we had done our homework and were aware of many of the options open to us; we also had an abiding faith in the cancer hospital and clinic, based on its solid reputation. We also hope it would attract the most qualified people on staff.

The doctor didn't plan to begin treatment until Hal showed signs of distress and this gave us the opportunity to re-examine the information we had been gathering about various treatments.

We knew his cancer was serious and we had little reason to doubt that no matter what he did he would die of it. That doesn't mean we intended to passively accept that, we intended to fight the disease as hard as we possibly could and we did. Once we met the Oncologist and committed ourselves to his management of the disease we never discussed Hal's life span again and we turned our thoughts totally to today.

Cancer is not a straightforward disease; there is that cell splitting and metastasizing and comparing one case against another re treatment is tough. We knew that the chemotherapy proposed for Hal was his best bet. His was called 5-FU (eff you) or more formally 5-Fluorouracil.I always thought the name was ironically apt. He was vain enough to rejoice that this treatment seldom causes much hair loss and he kept his thatch intact. He would suffer from nausea and mouth sores and weight loss.

We felt a sense of being protected at the hospital cancer clinic and that was the main reason we chose not to try the experimental drug offered to us. From what we'd read one drug wasn't going to rid the body of cancer. Never at any time were we tempted to try any of the untested, unproved drugs, clinics and "doctors" who grow rich preying on people searching for answers.

My advice is to choose based on all the facts and information you can gather from reliable sources and then keep your focus on the present.

It was always clear in our minds that Hal would combine any medical treatment with self-help imagery and group therapy and relaxation exercises and we left the casual drop-in group to join a group run by a psychologist in the hospital. This one was money well spent because they permitted the caregiver to participate. Originally it was set up for the patients only but the facilitators claim the caregivers showed up the first night and refused to be left out. This was excellent for us both.

We thought a lot about the doctors’ view of when to begin treatment. The doctor's credo was, "If it ain’t broke don't fix it." Well, it wasn't showing signs at the time, but it was broke. Now I realize they were leaving Hal alone while he felt well to enjoy his life.

We opted to stay away from macrobiotic diets that patients we've met swear by, and the two I knew personally were walking promotionals for it. They shuddered at the taste and blandness but believed it was aiding them. Hal chose not to attempt that because he liked his evening rum and roast beef didn't make the diet list. You have to be totally committed to anything to make it work, and no matter how much you want to succeed, you have to know yourself and your limitations.

Faith healers were not a serious consideration for Hal. He never claimed a spiritual life and to the end, he never wavered there.

This was the way we fell into our decision about Hal's treatment. We would follow the directives of the Oncologist and we would follow it faithfully. We would also practice positive imagery for self-healing and we would do this in the privacy of group leading.

If you did this again, what would you change?

We could have been more aggressive before Hal was diagnosed and before he began treatment, but we weren't and I know we did what we believed was right and I can live with that. I still get the shivers when I meet people who figure the answer lies on the shelves of the health food store or in the third floor walkup where this magnetic person has all the answers, for a hefty price. This is a tough disease. Do your homework, get the right doctor for you and then commit yourself for the rest of your life. May it be a long one.

continued in chapter 5; part 7